I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
