You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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