my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
