I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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