ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
