Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I lost the right to judge tonight
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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