I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im holly from the hills drunk
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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