i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
