She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
