Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
my poor anus
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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