i permit you to call me
Quick, to the slutcave!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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