i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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