Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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