I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
