Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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