do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
