Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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