maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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