dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
