dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
