she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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