Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
