Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
