So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize