I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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