I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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