Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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