that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
