Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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