Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
