At least make sure they are 18
Why
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
