great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
