Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
