Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
