kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
