dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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