For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
