By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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