win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
