were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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