singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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