I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
