If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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