do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
