Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
please don't ironically join a cult
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