Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
