you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I need to align my fucking chakras
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
