Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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