then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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