Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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