I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize