I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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