hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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