Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
