Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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