you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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