It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just high enough for therapy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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