How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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