Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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