I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
