i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
