If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
