Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
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I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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