My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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