if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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