Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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