Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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