she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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