He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
