she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
