fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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