we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What a dumb baby whore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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